1. Nodding instead of consulting
A few years ago, I was sitting in a small café near my office. The owner, who was also the waiter, came over to take my order.
“Can I get an espresso with cold milk?” I asked.“No, you can’t,” he replied casually, catching me off guard. I stared at him, a bit surprised.
“It won’t taste right, and I don’t want to serve you a bad coffee,” he explained. “But I can bring you cold milk on the side, and if you still want to, you can pour it into your espresso.”
I smiled, still a little confused, but I nodded to let him know I was fine with it.
Some people might have been offended, but I thought, wow, I love this guy. That’s what integrity looks like.
Many of my clients nod along with almost everything their clients suggest, operating under the mindset of “They’ll get what they paid for.” But if a client asked you to punch them in the face, would you? I doubt it, unless they hired you as a sparring partner.
Instead of challenging their clients’ ideas, they’re blindly accepting everything on the table. Conversations revolve around how or when something should be done, rather than whether it should be done at all. Rarely do I hear them ask, “Should we even be working on this?”
They’d rather let clients keep their rose-tinted glasses on, than confront them with the truth. They fear that being honest will lead to losing them.
Once, I heard someone say, “I’m not going to tell them that — I don’t want them to feel stupid.” But that’s the job: to provide the insight they’re paying you for, even if it’s uncomfortable.
In a consultant-client relationship, your role is to help the client understand the problem and guide them to a solution, not to talk down to them. It’s okay if they feel challenged or even frustrated by your perspective — that means you’re pushing them to think differently. If you’re acting in their best interest, there’s no harm in it.
I believe many of my clients don’t realize they’d be more valued in the long run if they were more assertive. By raising the right issues, they could help their clients sharpen their thinking and contribute more effectively to their goals.
The coffee shop owner from my story taught me two valuable lessons:
- If it’s your job, speak up. Share your opinion, no matter how it might be received. That’s what the client is paying for. Tell them what they should do, and if they still choose to make a bad decision, that’s on them.
- Don’t order an espresso with cold milk.
2. Focusing on deliverables
This naturally follows the previous one. Instead of guiding a client through challenging waters, they would rather take the safer route, focusing solely on deliverables. They take orders, push them to the sprints, fill up the scrum boards, assign tasks, and keep everyone busy. And then they move on to the next sprint.
But until when?
Eventually, the product rolls out and starts to show cracks. Then, along with the sprints, a new game begins: finger-pointing and blaming.
Clients come to us because they’re not capable of doing the things we’ve mastered. So, instead of jumping straight into Jira, have a conversation first. Try to understand the rationale behind the request. Why are they asking for a particular feature? How does it fit into the overall product, and will it be beneficial to users?
Deliverables are easier to handle than questioning requirements. They’re time-boxed and can easily fit into a sprint or two. But consulting requires more time and trust-building. It’s about understanding problems deeply and helping clients see the bigger picture.
When you’re focused on deliverables, you feel pressure from looming deadlines and long to-do lists. It seems like there’s no time to stop and think. But in reality, it’s crucial to ask if what you’re working on is the most important thing right now, or if there’s a better approach.
My clients often fail to see that if they focus only on output, they risk being replaced by someone faster or cheaper. However, by digging deeper, asking insightful questions, and uncovering the true weak spots, their contributions would be far more valuable. They could propose better solutions and offer alternatives to achieving goals, just like an expert would.
3. Checking the boxes with agile
Agile is inseparable part of our industry, but some of my clients would benefit from revisiting the Agile manifesto now and then. Here are a few key principles they often overlook while working with their customers.
Individuals and interactions over processes and tools
The dailies, or standups, should become true standups again. In the pre-COVID era, we’d gather for about 10 minutes each morning, standing, and sharing only what others needed to know. That’s how it was designed, with intention. If there was nothing urgent, we’d nod our heads and get back to work. Other meetings followed the same principle.
In a remote setup, comfortably seated in armchairs with coffee cups in hand, meetings now tend to drag on. Quite often, I feel that some meetings are held just to show clients that we’re actually doing something.
If you ask me, anyone who can’t contribute meaningfully to the discussion should be kicked out. Better yet, if the update can be delivered in one or two sentences via email, cancel the meeting altogether. Ruthless efficiency is better than following the plan just to keep teammates hostage.
This isn’t a contest of who can check off the most Agile rules — it’s about satisfying the customer.
Build projects around motivated individuals. Give them the environment and support they need, and trust them to get the job done
Your team’s success largely depends on the individuals you have onboard. It’s your job to create an environment where each person feels valued and trusted to contribute their skills and knowledge. If you find yourself frequently dismissing team suggestions, either reconsider who’s on your team, or — as mentioned — refer back to the Agile Manifesto.
Welcome changing requirements, even late in development
If a change brings improvement, it’s never too late to implement it. A change request doesn’t mean the stakeholder is trying to mess up your timeline; it’s their attempt to make things better.
The real challenge I’ve seen is that people struggle with so-called “bad timing” changes because they forget that this is a team sport. The only thing that matters is the final outcome we deliver together. It’s not about one individual’s workload or personal perception. We’re all striving toward a shared goal, and that’s why we teamed up in the first place. Whining is acceptable, though it would be convenient leaving it for some other occasion (e.g. retrospective meeting).
Agile is a great tool. But if you’re merely checking the boxes by following the rules — having sprints, types and frequency of the meetings etc. — it won’t make your problems disappear. These methods shouldn’t be constraints. They’re meant to make our work smoother, to get rid of rigidity, embrace flexibility, and to help us collaborate better to overcome obstacles. Sometimes, those obstacles are rooted in our own perceptions.
4. Not asking for feedback
One of my favorite clients recently asked for feedback about how satisfied I was with him, and whether he should focus on anything specific. It was the first time a client had asked me such a question, and I loved it. And the more I thought about it, the more I would recommend it to all my clients — to try the same with their customers.
As simple as that.
If you’re unsure whether you’re helping, just ask. You may not like what you hear, but:
- It can help you improve.
- It will strengthen your relationship with the client
Your clients aren’t tied to your business. If they don’t see value in your work, they’ll leave. So, ask for feedback before they burn bridges.
Anyhow, if you would be working for a company, you’d get evaluated every 3–6 months by your employer. Or if you don’t take out the trash for a couple of days, your spouse will let you know immediately. Feedback works in every relationship, so why not apply it here too?
Don’t just stand there and nod
—sep 28, 2025
1. Nodding instead of consulting
A few years ago, I was sitting in a small café near my office. The owner, who was also the waiter, came over to take my order.
“Can I get an espresso with cold milk?” I asked.“No, you can’t,” he replied casually, catching me off guard. I stared at him, a bit surprised.
“It won’t taste right, and I don’t want to serve you a bad coffee,” he explained. “But I can bring you cold milk on the side, and if you still want to, you can pour it into your espresso.”
I smiled, still a little confused, but I nodded to let him know I was fine with it.
Some people might have been offended, but I thought, wow, I love this guy. That’s what integrity looks like.
Many of my clients nod along with almost everything their clients suggest, operating under the mindset of “They’ll get what they paid for.” But if a client asked you to punch them in the face, would you? I doubt it, unless they hired you as a sparring partner.
Instead of challenging their clients’ ideas, they’re blindly accepting everything on the table. Conversations revolve around how or when something should be done, rather than whether it should be done at all. Rarely do I hear them ask, “Should we even be working on this?”
They’d rather let clients keep their rose-tinted glasses on, than confront them with the truth. They fear that being honest will lead to losing them.
Once, I heard someone say, “I’m not going to tell them that — I don’t want them to feel stupid.” But that’s the job: to provide the insight they’re paying you for, even if it’s uncomfortable.
In a consultant-client relationship, your role is to help the client understand the problem and guide them to a solution, not to talk down to them. It’s okay if they feel challenged or even frustrated by your perspective — that means you’re pushing them to think differently. If you’re acting in their best interest, there’s no harm in it.
I believe many of my clients don’t realize they’d be more valued in the long run if they were more assertive. By raising the right issues, they could help their clients sharpen their thinking and contribute more effectively to their goals.
The coffee shop owner from my story taught me two valuable lessons:
- If it’s your job, speak up. Share your opinion, no matter how it might be received. That’s what the client is paying for. Tell them what they should do, and if they still choose to make a bad decision, that’s on them.
- Don’t order an espresso with cold milk.
2. Focusing on deliverables
This naturally follows the previous one. Instead of guiding a client through challenging waters, they would rather take the safer route, focusing solely on deliverables. They take orders, push them to the sprints, fill up the scrum boards, assign tasks, and keep everyone busy. And then they move on to the next sprint.
But until when?
Eventually, the product rolls out and starts to show cracks. Then, along with the sprints, a new game begins: finger-pointing and blaming.
Clients come to us because they’re not capable of doing the things we’ve mastered. So, instead of jumping straight into Jira, have a conversation first. Try to understand the rationale behind the request. Why are they asking for a particular feature? How does it fit into the overall product, and will it be beneficial to users?
Deliverables are easier to handle than questioning requirements. They’re time-boxed and can easily fit into a sprint or two. But consulting requires more time and trust-building. It’s about understanding problems deeply and helping clients see the bigger picture.
When you’re focused on deliverables, you feel pressure from looming deadlines and long to-do lists. It seems like there’s no time to stop and think. But in reality, it’s crucial to ask if what you’re working on is the most important thing right now, or if there’s a better approach.
My clients often fail to see that if they focus only on output, they risk being replaced by someone faster or cheaper. However, by digging deeper, asking insightful questions, and uncovering the true weak spots, their contributions would be far more valuable. They could propose better solutions and offer alternatives to achieving goals, just like an expert would.
3. Checking the boxes with agile
Agile is inseparable part of our industry, but some of my clients would benefit from revisiting the Agile manifesto now and then. Here are a few key principles they often overlook while working with their customers.
Individuals and interactions over processes and tools
The dailies, or standups, should become true standups again. In the pre-COVID era, we’d gather for about 10 minutes each morning, standing, and sharing only what others needed to know. That’s how it was designed, with intention. If there was nothing urgent, we’d nod our heads and get back to work. Other meetings followed the same principle.
In a remote setup, comfortably seated in armchairs with coffee cups in hand, meetings now tend to drag on. Quite often, I feel that some meetings are held just to show clients that we’re actually doing something.
If you ask me, anyone who can’t contribute meaningfully to the discussion should be kicked out. Better yet, if the update can be delivered in one or two sentences via email, cancel the meeting altogether. Ruthless efficiency is better than following the plan just to keep teammates hostage.
This isn’t a contest of who can check off the most Agile rules — it’s about satisfying the customer.
Build projects around motivated individuals. Give them the environment and support they need, and trust them to get the job done
Your team’s success largely depends on the individuals you have onboard. It’s your job to create an environment where each person feels valued and trusted to contribute their skills and knowledge. If you find yourself frequently dismissing team suggestions, either reconsider who’s on your team, or — as mentioned — refer back to the Agile Manifesto.
Welcome changing requirements, even late in development
If a change brings improvement, it’s never too late to implement it. A change request doesn’t mean the stakeholder is trying to mess up your timeline; it’s their attempt to make things better.
The real challenge I’ve seen is that people struggle with so-called “bad timing” changes because they forget that this is a team sport. The only thing that matters is the final outcome we deliver together. It’s not about one individual’s workload or personal perception. We’re all striving toward a shared goal, and that’s why we teamed up in the first place. Whining is acceptable, though it would be convenient leaving it for some other occasion (e.g. retrospective meeting).
Agile is a great tool. But if you’re merely checking the boxes by following the rules — having sprints, types and frequency of the meetings etc. — it won’t make your problems disappear. These methods shouldn’t be constraints. They’re meant to make our work smoother, to get rid of rigidity, embrace flexibility, and to help us collaborate better to overcome obstacles. Sometimes, those obstacles are rooted in our own perceptions.
4. Not asking for feedback
One of my favorite clients recently asked for feedback about how satisfied I was with him, and whether he should focus on anything specific. It was the first time a client had asked me such a question, and I loved it. And the more I thought about it, the more I would recommend it to all my clients — to try the same with their customers.
As simple as that.
If you’re unsure whether you’re helping, just ask. You may not like what you hear, but:
- It can help you improve.
- It will strengthen your relationship with the client
Your clients aren’t tied to your business. If they don’t see value in your work, they’ll leave. So, ask for feedback before they burn bridges.
Anyhow, if you would be working for a company, you’d get evaluated every 3–6 months by your employer. Or if you don’t take out the trash for a couple of days, your spouse will let you know immediately. Feedback works in every relationship, so why not apply it here too?
Don’t just stand there and nod
—sep 28, 2025
1. Nodding instead of consulting
A few years ago, I was sitting in a small café near my office. The owner, who was also the waiter, came over to take my order.
“Can I get an espresso with cold milk?” I asked.“No, you can’t,” he replied casually, catching me off guard. I stared at him, a bit surprised.
“It won’t taste right, and I don’t want to serve you a bad coffee,” he explained. “But I can bring you cold milk on the side, and if you still want to, you can pour it into your espresso.”
I smiled, still a little confused, but I nodded to let him know I was fine with it.
Some people might have been offended, but I thought, wow, I love this guy. That’s what integrity looks like.
Many of my clients nod along with almost everything their clients suggest, operating under the mindset of “They’ll get what they paid for.” But if a client asked you to punch them in the face, would you? I doubt it, unless they hired you as a sparring partner.
Instead of challenging their clients’ ideas, they’re blindly accepting everything on the table. Conversations revolve around how or when something should be done, rather than whether it should be done at all. Rarely do I hear them ask, “Should we even be working on this?”
They’d rather let clients keep their rose-tinted glasses on, than confront them with the truth. They fear that being honest will lead to losing them.
Once, I heard someone say, “I’m not going to tell them that — I don’t want them to feel stupid.” But that’s the job: to provide the insight they’re paying you for, even if it’s uncomfortable.
In a consultant-client relationship, your role is to help the client understand the problem and guide them to a solution, not to talk down to them. It’s okay if they feel challenged or even frustrated by your perspective — that means you’re pushing them to think differently. If you’re acting in their best interest, there’s no harm in it.
I believe many of my clients don’t realize they’d be more valued in the long run if they were more assertive. By raising the right issues, they could help their clients sharpen their thinking and contribute more effectively to their goals.
The coffee shop owner from my story taught me two valuable lessons:
- If it’s your job, speak up. Share your opinion, no matter how it might be received. That’s what the client is paying for. Tell them what they should do, and if they still choose to make a bad decision, that’s on them.
- Don’t order an espresso with cold milk.
2. Focusing on deliverables
This naturally follows the previous one. Instead of guiding a client through challenging waters, they would rather take the safer route, focusing solely on deliverables. They take orders, push them to the sprints, fill up the scrum boards, assign tasks, and keep everyone busy. And then they move on to the next sprint.
But until when?
Eventually, the product rolls out and starts to show cracks. Then, along with the sprints, a new game begins: finger-pointing and blaming.
Clients come to us because they’re not capable of doing the things we’ve mastered. So, instead of jumping straight into Jira, have a conversation first. Try to understand the rationale behind the request. Why are they asking for a particular feature? How does it fit into the overall product, and will it be beneficial to users?
Deliverables are easier to handle than questioning requirements. They’re time-boxed and can easily fit into a sprint or two. But consulting requires more time and trust-building. It’s about understanding problems deeply and helping clients see the bigger picture.
When you’re focused on deliverables, you feel pressure from looming deadlines and long to-do lists. It seems like there’s no time to stop and think. But in reality, it’s crucial to ask if what you’re working on is the most important thing right now, or if there’s a better approach.
My clients often fail to see that if they focus only on output, they risk being replaced by someone faster or cheaper. However, by digging deeper, asking insightful questions, and uncovering the true weak spots, their contributions would be far more valuable. They could propose better solutions and offer alternatives to achieving goals, just like an expert would.
3. Checking the boxes with agile
Agile is inseparable part of our industry, but some of my clients would benefit from revisiting the Agile manifesto now and then. Here are a few key principles they often overlook while working with their customers.
Individuals and interactions over processes and tools
The dailies, or standups, should become true standups again. In the pre-COVID era, we’d gather for about 10 minutes each morning, standing, and sharing only what others needed to know. That’s how it was designed, with intention. If there was nothing urgent, we’d nod our heads and get back to work. Other meetings followed the same principle.
In a remote setup, comfortably seated in armchairs with coffee cups in hand, meetings now tend to drag on. Quite often, I feel that some meetings are held just to show clients that we’re actually doing something.
If you ask me, anyone who can’t contribute meaningfully to the discussion should be kicked out. Better yet, if the update can be delivered in one or two sentences via email, cancel the meeting altogether. Ruthless efficiency is better than following the plan just to keep teammates hostage.
This isn’t a contest of who can check off the most Agile rules — it’s about satisfying the customer.
Build projects around motivated individuals. Give them the environment and support they need, and trust them to get the job done
Your team’s success largely depends on the individuals you have onboard. It’s your job to create an environment where each person feels valued and trusted to contribute their skills and knowledge. If you find yourself frequently dismissing team suggestions, either reconsider who’s on your team, or — as mentioned — refer back to the Agile Manifesto.
Welcome changing requirements, even late in development
If a change brings improvement, it’s never too late to implement it. A change request doesn’t mean the stakeholder is trying to mess up your timeline; it’s their attempt to make things better.
The real challenge I’ve seen is that people struggle with so-called “bad timing” changes because they forget that this is a team sport. The only thing that matters is the final outcome we deliver together. It’s not about one individual’s workload or personal perception. We’re all striving toward a shared goal, and that’s why we teamed up in the first place. Whining is acceptable, though it would be convenient leaving it for some other occasion (e.g. retrospective meeting).
Agile is a great tool. But if you’re merely checking the boxes by following the rules — having sprints, types and frequency of the meetings etc. — it won’t make your problems disappear. These methods shouldn’t be constraints. They’re meant to make our work smoother, to get rid of rigidity, embrace flexibility, and to help us collaborate better to overcome obstacles. Sometimes, those obstacles are rooted in our own perceptions.
4. Not asking for feedback
One of my favorite clients recently asked for feedback about how satisfied I was with him, and whether he should focus on anything specific. It was the first time a client had asked me such a question, and I loved it. And the more I thought about it, the more I would recommend it to all my clients — to try the same with their customers.
As simple as that.
If you’re unsure whether you’re helping, just ask. You may not like what you hear, but:
- It can help you improve.
- It will strengthen your relationship with the client
Your clients aren’t tied to your business. If they don’t see value in your work, they’ll leave. So, ask for feedback before they burn bridges.
Anyhow, if you would be working for a company, you’d get evaluated every 3–6 months by your employer. Or if you don’t take out the trash for a couple of days, your spouse will let you know immediately. Feedback works in every relationship, so why not apply it here too?
Don’t just stand there and nod
—sep 28, 2025
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